Worry and fear seem to have a grip on many people right now. God gave me an important lesson last year about worry, doubt, and fear. I hope He can use the message to encourage others in this moment.
Last July 23rd, I was scheduled to go in for a biopsy. There had been a lump in my neck for the previous 9 months. I had nearly worried myself to death over it, while at the same time feeling like God kept telling me to stop worrying. In fact, the very first doctor I went to literally said to me, “It’s just a swollen lymph node. Don’t worry about it.”
I struggled with worry for most of my life.
The morning of my biopsy, I felt God speak very clearly to me. What follows is what I wrote out later in the day, after getting back home from the procedure. I believe it is a timely message for us right now.
How God Spoke to Me the Morning of My Biopsy
This morning (the morning of my biopsy), I woke up to a weird dream. We were at a party. It was being thrown by some people we were friends with years ago. In the dream, my wife and I both experienced embarrassment. I wasn’t dressed properly, and the people there made fun of me. We also experienced insecurity. We didn’t feel like we really fit in.
We also experienced jealousy. The neighborhood was an over the top nice place, especially for kids. It had sidewalks, playgrounds, and even something that looked like water park type features.
I woke up feeling that the dream might have been significant, so I asked the Lord, “Lord, what was that dream about? Was it significant?”
I felt the Lord quickly and clearly answer by impressing His thoughts into my mind:
“Did those people bring anything good into your life?”
I said, “No. I guess not.”
He said, “That’s right. And I cut them completely out of your life.”
I responded, “Yeah, I guess you did, Lord. I had never thought of it that way, but wow. You cut all of those people completely out of our lives.”
I said, “So, what was the point of the dream?”
He said, “I’m going to cut that out of your life too.”
And by that, I had a clear sense that He was talking about the lump in my neck. But I also felt that there was some deeper meaning.
I said, “Okay. And what exactly does ‘that’ mean? What is the ‘that’?”
And He said, “Worry, doubt, and fear. I’m going to cut those things out of your life. You don’t need them. They don’t bring anything good into your life.”
I pondered that for a moment. I wrestled with it, because I have always operated under the assumption that some amount of worry is good, and maybe even some amount of fear. I think some amount of those things help keep me and my family safe by causing me to be more cautious and protective. But God was pointing out that there wasn’t anything good being brought into my life through those things.
We can be wise without being fearful, worrying, or doubting. We can “take responsibility” and “cast our cares” at the same time.
Interestingly enough, they found two more places that they wanted to biopsy once I got there under the ultrasound machine. So, there were a total of 3 spots in my neck that had to get repeatedly punctured with multiple needles, using a vigorous in and out, back and forth motion that lasted for a good minute or two with each needle. It was an interesting procedure. I kid you not, right before the procedure started, the radiologist said as he pointed toward my neck, “So, we just want to make sure you understand. 3 spots, 6 times each, so 6-6-6.”
Worry. Doubt. Fear.
I later found out that the radiologist was a committed Christian. I’m sure he hadn’t thought twice about saying “6-6-6” over me right before the procedure. It did not bother me terribly at the time; I tried my best to just laugh it off internally. But now I take it as God working through this man’s words to drive the point home one last time.
These three things come from your enemy.
Thank you, Jesus, for Your Word that divides soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and judges the thoughts and intentions of my heart. Thank you for removing worry, doubt, and fear from me. Thank You for doing work—spiritual surgery—in me that I don’t even realize needs to be done. Thank You for Your great love for me! I praise You, Father, in Jesus name, Amen!
Confirmation of What God Had Told Me
So that’s what I wrote out that day. A week or so later, I got the results and was told I had thyroid cancer.
A few days after that, I received a divine confirmation of what the Lord had told me the morning of the biopsy. I go to a multi-campus megachurch, where the membership is the size of a small city. The pastor lives in a different town. He didn’t know me at all, or my situation. In fact, I had only told a few people in my family at that point.
Keep in mind, my medical problem was all contained inside my neck. The very next Sunday after getting the biopsy results, my pastor preached, and this is what he said:
I’m not saying that God sent the sickness, just that He brings good from bad situations. God’s primary focus for me during this time was to remove worry from my life.
How the Situation Turned Out
Just a few months later, I had surgery which removed not 3, but over 30 cancerous spots in my neck. No matter what the enemy threw at us, God had the answer for it. God gave me the number one thyroid surgeon in the world, and I was completely cured.
God had the answer before the beginning of time!
As disgusting as this may be, I feel like the Lord wants to give us a picture of what worry looks like. Here is what was cut out of me:
Conclusion: Let’s Stop Worrying!
Worry does not come from the Lord. It is not good. In fact, it is a sin. Let’s turn away from worry, doubt, and fear. Let’s put our trust in the Lord.
He is good.
He loves us.
And He has the answer!